Some ramblings

I’ve hit a plateau of sorts, but I’ve promised myself not to worry about it until after the holidays. As long as I stay where I’m at, I’m happy. In fact, I lost a pound this week in spite of all the holiday work parties! So yay me!

I’m now down 34 pounds. I started at 305 and weigh-in yesterday put me at 271.6. This is the lowest I’ve been in about a decade. And while I’m kind of halted in weight loss, I see changes in my body regularly. My clothes are all baggy, which I’ve decided to also be okay with for now since it’s winter and I enjoy huddling in sweaters. That way, when spring comes and I wear more weather-appropriate clothing, people will think I dropped all kinds of weight overnight 😉

When I started, I was wearing a 24, but really should have been in a 26. Everything was skin-tight then and uncomfortable. I had one pair of 26 jeans, and I accidentally grabbed them the other day and pulled them on without unbuttoning them. THAT was a victorious feeling! Also, I bought a sweater that was an 18/20, thinking that I would hold onto it for when it fits. IT FITS NOW! That happened another time recently when I saw a size 18 polka-dotted skirt (polka dots are a weakness) at Goodwill for $1, so I bought it with the intention of wearing it when I’d lost more weight. I tried it on just to see how long I’d have to wait. AND IT FIT! I love that feeling.

Another thing that’s changed is that I wore a winter hat tonight that I crocheted for myself last winter, but never wore before because my face was too fat for it. I LOVE cloches, but mix the size of my gargantuan head with the fluffiness of my face, and I avoid them. But I put mine on tonight and it didn’t look half bad: 

Check out the flower on the side:

Let’s see…what else?

Since I don’t want you to think life is all roses and sunshine, I’ll tell you about my trip to the dreaded Walmart yesterday. I was looking at a clearance rack, trying on cardigans (another weakness), when this older lady approached me and asked me if I knew where the “plus plus” sizes were. She said, “You know, like 3X.”

Here I was just feeling good about myself, contemplating buying a pair of size 18 tights since all of mine are becoming baggy, and she approaches me to ask me this! I really wanted to slap her. Instead, I looked like I was pondering, and replied, “I think they’re way down there on the end.” And she toddled off to find them.

Seriously. Just don’t. That was like asking me when the baby’s due and I’m not pregnant. There was no malcontent in her question. But I look forward to the day when the question is instead if I know where the active wear is located. She really knocked me down a peg. Ugh. My only consolation is that I later saw her holding up a hideously-shaped pink shirt approvingly, so at least I know if we show up at the same place again, I’ll be better dressed than she is.

I’m off work for the next few weeks, so I hope to manage to start a yoga trend that can continue when I go back to the daily grind. I’m still logging my food with Lose It! I’m feeling pretty good, all things considered. My knee has given me very little problems, and my lactose intolerance is being fairly tolerant. 

With that, I’ll leave you with this thought. It’s what drives me daily to not go back. Ever.

  

Update Wherein I Once Again Apologize for Not Blogging

I’m sorry.

I really do realize that I do better when I blog more often. I need that outlet to cement goals and keep myself motivated. I don’t know why I’ve become so lax about the whole thing. I’ll promise to do better.

Since I last updated:

  1. I upgraded my phone to an iPhone 6s Plus, so my food pictures will be even more enthralling.
  2. All of my clothes have suddenly become baggy. Even my tights. But I’ve given myself permission to wear baggy clothes all winter so when the warm weather comes back around, I’ll be like a beautiful frickin’ butterfly and suddenly everyone will notice that I’ve lose weight!
  3. My daughter turned 5, and my second-oldest son turned 18.
  4. Work is crazy.
  5. My knee and ankle are finally to the point where I can start working out.
  6. My hair got longer.
  7. My sister commented on 22 of my Facebook posts, telling me to update my blog.
  8. I have received the “Dedicated” badge on my Lose It! app for logging my food every day for 4 weeks.
  9. A ring I bought 12 years ago fits again!
  10. Here are some pictures to try and make up for my absence: 

I found an old pair of STIRRUP PANTS!  
  

I might be starting to look somewhat normal…

 For the first time in my life, I have almost used an entire tube of lipstick! I have a feeling Santa will be leaving me a new L’Oreal “Toasted Almond” in my stocking.

  

My hair is getting long.

 This is an old sweater that used to be awkwardly tight, but is now baggy. Also, I can put my hair in a PONYTAIL!

More soon. Promise!

Sunday Update: Ch-ch-changes Edition

Hello, my lovelies! The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Instead, I have been outrageously busy with life, then I managed to have three days after Thanksgiving wherein nothing was expected of me, so I kind of hid from the world and hung out with my kids.

There has been SO MUCH going on! Work is crazy, life outside of that is NUTS, and I have made drastic changes as to how I log my food.

One thing at a time.

At work, we are preparing for the next semester. Working in a college store at this time of year is quite hectic. Personally, we cleaned the house and prepped for hosting Thanksgiving dinner. It was divine! I made all of this:

IMG_1720Well, I made most of it. From top left to bottom right:

  • My seven year old’s FAMOUS Oreo Cookie Fluff
  • Canned, jellied, cheaply GLORIOUS cranberry sauce (it’s tradition…I eat it once a year)
  • My sister-in-law’s pineapple upside-down cake
  • My Jiffy Corn Casserole
  • Stove Top cornbread stuffing (another tradition)
  • My mashed potatoes made with cream cheese and vegetable stock
  • My green bean casserole (my niece lives for this)
  • And my turkey. All 18 pounds of it

Most years, I go over the top and come up with all kinds of new recipes tossed in with old favorites, but this year we decided to keep it simple. And yes, while I am a “foodie” and cook all kinds of crazy recipes all the time, there are two things I will never make and never change. We HAVE to have canned, jellied cranberry sauce, and the stuffing HAS to be Stove Top cornbread. Even if I become a millionaire someday, these two things will always be on my Thanksgiving table.

Just before the holiday, I made a huge change in the way I log my food. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got that I was spending $20 per month on my Weight Watchers account, but less than half of the foods I would scan were in their database; and I was spending more and more time putting things in via the calculator. And then they changed things up so that recipes I created on my phone app didn’t show on their website. I was not losing any weight…just gaining and losing the same little bit. I was not happy with how things were going. I also realized that this program really wasn’t teaching me how to eat like a normal person without food issues, which is my ultimate goal. It was teaching me to be dependent on their program.

So, I went in search of something that could be a better fit. I knew that I didn’t want to use MyFitnessPal. I had used it in the past and I cannot explain to you why, per-say, I dislike it, but I do. I spent a bit of time looking around, and I found it. I found the program I am going to be following.

Lose It! is where it’s at, people. I. Love. This. Program.

The website is amazing, the app does everything I want it to, and they have a WordPress blog! Also, you get a full year of premium goodies for just $40. Score!

I was so excited about this find, I Tweeted about it, and I got a few responses:

So then this happened:

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Oh, and there’s that. It’s so ORANGE! It makes me deliriously happy every time I open it. I was officially in love, so I bit the bullet:

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I really enjoy this program. You can link it to other apps:

(I love that I can link it to my Walgreens account.)

The interface is very user-friendly:

Okay, enough with the gushing. In the first week of using it, I lost two pounds! And I feel this huge stress ball has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like I am now free to chose healthy options (better than what I ate on that first day) and it breaks down what I’ve eaten and what all was in it. I am learning about food. There are tons of articles that pertain to me. There are charts out the wazoo, and I love that! Also, when I scan something, it has always been in the database. In fact, I am blown away by the extensive database they have!

OH! And when you upgrade to premium, you get to set personal goals beyond how many calories you consume and how much weight you want to lose. I can now use the app to set a goal of how much of my diet I want to consist of carbs and fat, and I can log my water. It’s fantastic!

I promise…this is not a commercial. They aren’t paying me anything to write about it. That would be a horrible misuse of their marketing budget.

So, out with the #weightwatchers and in with the #loseit

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Wednesday Check-In

So…I took yesterday off from work and have therefore screwed up the inside of my brain and I forgot that today was Wednesday until I got to work. Which means I didn’t weigh-in. I’ll hopefully do that tomorrow morning. Ugh.

In the meantime, I just have to say how unhappy I am with the new Weight Watchers website design. The app hasn’t changed, thank goodness, but it doesn’t communicate well with the website.

I build a lot of my own recipes, but now you can’t do that via the website. And if you’ve created a recipe via the app since the website redesign, it won’t show up on the website at all. Like so:

Weight Watchers Tracker

I created a recipe via the app this past weekend when I made my crockpot chili. I brought some leftovers for lunch today and tried to add it, but couldn’t find it via the website. So I went into the app and added it that way. Then I went back into the website and while the PointsPlus values left number is correct, it doesn’t show my chili on the list.

I really hope they change this. I don’t do a whole lot via the website, but I do use it while I’m at work.

Boo, Weight Watchers. Boo!


In other news, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I am still trying to crawl out of this hole I seem to have slipped into. I am getting better every day. I need to get my head out of my ass, really. Every time something happens food-wise, I keep thinking, “Just this once…it’s special!” But honestly, everything is special, right? I need to change the way I think about things. I need to realize that this isn’t just a temporary thing. This is me. For life. Always. For the rest of my days, I will have to be aware of every morsel that is around me, and every ounce that I put in my mouth. I’m only six months into this change, and I cannot afford to have this mindset of resentment. I need to let it go and deal with it and get off my high horse.

I am sick to death of being fat. I don’t like the feeling of overeating. Greasy foods taste greasy. Chocolate pie is filled with lactose, and it will make me miserable. I feel better when I eat healthily. I feel better about myself when I’m heading in the right direction.

Seriously, why is this so hard?

Weekend Update with Tanjalin

Before I say anything else, I have to let the world know that I am an aunt again! My baby sister (28…such a baby!) gave birth to my gorgeous niece, Lydia Wednesday, whom I refer to as Cheesecake, on Saturday evening. My sister, unfortunately, lives in California, and I live in Iowa. But we were able to Skype last night and I got to hear Lydia cry and she’s just so beautiful! Here’s proof:

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Ugh! I cannot get over how utterly gorgeous this baby is! I wish I could hold her. I’m so excited to have her in our lives.

In other news, my eating is slowly getting better. I really don’t realize why I keep having problems. I just need to buckle down. Because of that cute baby up there, I’m going to focus on the positives:

  • I went out to a fish place for my father-in-law’s birthday. Everything there is battered and fried. Instead of getting the two-piece carp dinner (pictured here:)
    o
    with coleslaw and potato wedges, I got one piece of carp (which turned out to be perfectly cooked…no greasy taste, light breading and ultra-tender fish) and split an order of fries with my two youngest kids. I did eat some coleslaw, but it was in a dinky cup. And I drank water!
  • On Sunday, I made crockpot chili. I got the seasoning packets at the store, then added 1 pound of lean ground beef and 1 pound of lean ground turkey, one onion, two cans of diced tomatoes, one can each of light and dark kidney beans and (after this picture was taken) some frozen corn. It turned out to be 5 Weight Watchers points per fairly hefty bowl, and it was DELICIOUS.
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Here are things I want to work on this week, because I do best when I write out my goals:

  1. Drink my water! Seriously, why has this become so hard?
  2. No fried foods. Zero.
  3. Log my food points. The weekends somehow make it so easy to just think, “Oh, I know how many points I’ve consumed today…I’m good.” And then you realize after dinner that you ate some pretzels earlier in the day that make it so you’re not actually good.
  4. Start reading, “How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too” because it’s only been on my Kindle for about a year now.
  5. Come up with more goals by next Monday.

Bonus Wednesday Post – Sunshine Blogger Award!

Since starting this blog, I have had a few constant commenting readers who really have helped me feel a sense of camaraderie and understanding. The amazing woman behind the Nerd On a Diet Blog (what is your name, or shall I just call you Nerd?) has been one of those people, and her blog posts are AMAZINGLY entertaining. Back when her blog was known as “Visual Daily Menu”, she had a post titled “Diet Fail” that literally had me on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading. I’m hoping to one day become friends with her, because she’s JUST that cool.

Anyway, she so wonderfully nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award, which even comes with a spiffy graphic:

sunshine-blogger-award

As Nerdy said: “The fun of this award is that it comes with questions.  I think this is a great way to share more information about me as a person with you other than just naming lists of foods that I eat!  So here we go.”

  1. Why do you blog? I have always been an oversharer. In 1999, I started a LiveJournal account, which was pretty much the Facebook of those days, and I gained some amazing friendships that I still have now. Also, I have always been a writer. When I was in high school, I was the most published student in the school’s history and I won a short story contest in the local newspaper. So at the time when I decided to start Weight Watchers, I also decided that I wanted to log my journey. I knew that I wasn’t alone out here in this world of weight loss, but I also knew that I would need to work through things and babble about zucchini recipes and no one around me wanted to listen to that. So I made my blog and whoever wants to can read it.
  2. Which of your own blog posts is your favorite? While I am, without a doubt, witty and entertaining in ALL of my blog posts (HA!), I would have to say that my favorite is Two Cents Tuesday – Hydration Edition. It’s the one and only Two Cents Tuesday post I’ve done. That reminds me. I need to do that on Tuesdays again.
  3. Which super power do you wish for? Most people would have to think about this one for a while, but not me! My seven year old son is obsessed with superheroes, so we’ve had this discussion a LOT at my house. The super power I want is the ability to bamf, which is basically teleportation, but with a neat noise and a connection back to my favorite super hero, Nightcrawler.
  4. If you had a day to yourself with no responsibilities and no financial limits, what would you do? Another one that most people would have to think about but I have already thought through extensively! You see, I work a very busy job at a college, and I have four children (three at home still), a husband, and two pet rats. That means I don’t get much time to myself. I revel in alone time. The last time I had a day to myself, I went to a little movie theater and saw Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing after taking myself out to lunch at a little restaurant. It was glorious. However, if I had one day with no financial limits, I would rent a car (something small in a fun color) and drive to Iowa City, which is about three hours from where I live. I love this city. I would eat breakfast at the Hamburg Inn No. 2, then walk over to the Haunted Bookshop and look at the books while playing with the kitties. I would go through the shops of the Ped Mall, and then spend time in a random coffee shop like the High Ground Cafe. It would be a lovely day.
  5. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Both! I’m actually a very shy person, but hardly anyone believes me. When I was in high school, I went through a life-changing Dale Carnegie course on public speaking and I learned how to fake not being shy. I then went on to perform at renaissance faires for over ten years, so I learned how to interact with people. I have spent a good deal of my life working in a retail environment, so I can’t be shy. I know how to interact with people so well that no one believes that if given the choice, I would rather stay home and not talk to people face-to-face.
  6. Are you a homebody or someone who loves to go out? I am most definitely a homebody. I live in a small town that is at least 30 minutes from anywhere worthy of going out to, so once I get home, I often have a hard time leaving the house again.
  7. What three completely impractical items would you pack for your stay on desert island? Impractical? Hmm. Art supplies, my Weeping Angel necklace (my kids gave it to me), and nail polish.
  8. What’s the weirdest thing in your purse right now? *looking* My mini tenth Doctor doll 🙂
    image
  9. Books or movies? BOTH! I am a big fan of escapism.
  10. Choose your (arts & crafts) weapon. Just one?!? Nothing beats a black Sharpie.
  11. What’s the dorkiest thing I can convince you to admit that you love way too much? I am such a dork/nerd/geek. And I’m proud of that. So I don’t hide many of my dorky loves very much. I am a Doctor Who, Sherlock and Supernatural fangirl to the extreme. I want to one day go out for coffee with Tobuscus and give Markiplier a hug. But, I guess if I had to admit to something I love way too much, I would have to say that I love rapping. When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend and I got kicked out of P.E. class for beatboxing (her) and rapping (me) to It Takes Two by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock. I am 40 years old and I still rap whenever I can. I’m known for it at work. Can you call rapping dorky? I do. I love it!

I will do the second part of this nomination very soon. My battery is about to die.

Goodnight, fearless readers!

Weigh-In Wednesday – Getting It Done and Moving Forward

wednesday

Began 5.30.15
Start weight: 305
Goal weight: 175

Last week: 273.8
This week: 276.4
Difference: +2.6 lbs.

Total loss: -28.6 lbs.
Amount to goal: 101.4 lbs.

Overview: I totally deserved this gain. I didn’t log all of my food. I was voraciously hungry after being sick for a week. I didn’t go completely crazy, but I didn’t do what I should have done. I have been barely holding on to the lifeline of Weight Watchers for the past bit, but I really feel like I have found my focus again. I spent a good deal of time on Pinterest yesterday, looking at new recipes and before and after pictures. I know it sounds funny, but I feel like the switch has flipped up again and I’m ON. I am ready to take on the world again.

And to prove it, I wore a dress to work today that I haven’t been able to wear in YEARS. I wanted to remind myself of how far I’ve come and what a good job I’ve done.

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Do you see that?? My boobs stick out further than my stomach! That’s something to celebrate! And the sweater I’m wearing was one I didn’t wear often because the sleeves were so tight on my arms and it really just didn’t fit right. And now it’s perfect! I could even button it if I wanted to!

So…while I’ve slipped a little, it’s nothing compared to the leaps ahead I’ve made from where I used to be. Every day that I don’t give up is a victory. Every day that I make some sort of forward movement is something to cheer about.

Also, I just got an email listing four 5-week exercise classes being offered for free! Each class is once a week for an hour, which I think is perfect for someone just starting out. I’ve decided to pick two. Here are my options:

  • TurboKick
  • Yoga
  • Insanity – which doesn’t sound as bad as I thought it would. It’s all about going at your own pace while pushing yourself.
  • Vinyasa Flow

I’m so excited!

Hey! I found my motivation again – on Pinterest!

As everyone following this blog has figured out by now, I have really been struggling for the past month or so. What with illness and anxiety and life in general getting in the way of things, I have noticed that my dedication to losing weight has wavered. I have really been trying so hard to keep holding on. I refused to let go of the lifeline. I was determined not to give up. I knew that if I just held on and did little things in the right direction, I would find that wave again and be able to ride it. I knew it would happen. I kept the faith.

Today, I feel renewed, and I am totally going to run with it. Maybe this is the wave I’ve been waiting for. I am on my surfboard and ready to go!

There is something about autumn that seems to rejuvenate me in ways that other seasons do not. I feel cleansed and happy. I get to wear my scarves again, and my cardigans. I can throw on a jacket and life somehow just feels better.

It also helps that I am madly in love with autumnal vegetables. I have already baked a few acorn squashes and plan to expand on that. I want to experiment with veggies I haven’t yet tried. I want to learn new ways to cook old favorites. And I WILL be making a squash soup in the near future.

If you’re not already following me on Pinterest, now would be the time to start. And if you have a favorite fall recipe, please share! I’ll be doing some cooking in the near future. YAY MOTIVATION!

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Update on the Run!

I have had zero time to do anything for me lately, but I found two minutes this morning before we go to my in-laws’ for a seafood boil, so I thought I’d update with a few happy things.

  1. I was Sam Winchester from Supernatural for Halloween:

 
He’s always super-concerned about mankind. My husband was Bobby Singer, and my seven year old was Dean:

  
 
My four year old daughter was a kitty, and my seventeen year old was a nerd. Oh! I mean Raphael from TMNT.
  
  

  1. <–that should be 2, but the WP app hates me. I realized just how used to stretching my shirts as I was putting them on. I totally lost control of that sentence, but you catch my drift. I don’t need to stretch them anymore! But stopping myself from doing it makes me happy.
  2. My husband told me he can really tell I’ve lost weight. That made me feel giddy.

Okay, I have to go. More later!

Wednesday Weigh-In

I’m about to drift off to sleep, so this will be quick.

Began 5.30.15
Start weight: 305
Goal weight: 175

Last week: 275.4
This week: 273.8
Difference: -1.8 lbs.

Total loss: -31.2 lbs.
Amount to goal: 98.8 lbs.

I have learned, as I learned in the past when I struggled to consume all of my Weight Watchers points, that my body doesn’t respond well to “starvation”. I spent the majority of the last week sick, and are very little because of that. I’m looking forward to next week because my appetite is back and I’m craving healthy things! Yay!

Today, I realized that I still needed to find an oversized beanie for my Halloween costume. However, I have a rather large head that makes it nearly impossible to find one. My sister suggested I make one out of an old sweater, so I found a video on YouTube that showed me how. So now I have a beanie, a pair of fingerless gloves, an infinity scarf and boot cuffs! I love being crafty.

   
 Okay. Now I sleep. More soon!