I really needed to hear this. It is so very true for me:
A lot of things have happened in the past week that got me to this point.
That was hoaky. Everything that happens gets you to the next point, right?
What I’m saying is that this is a very special moment in history. I have a weight-loss cycle. It’s something I could set my clock by. And I’ve broken this cycle for the first time EVER. So let’s just rehash what has been happening in my life to get me here.
Normally, I get all gung-ho about losing weight. I change my eating habits and I lose weight and all is great. And then something happens in my life that causes me to break my stride and I fall off the wagon and I muddle around in the mud until I’ve gained everything back. I lose all desire to better myself. I downright wallow in how horrible I am for having come so far and then failing again.
So…that’s where I’ve been. Wallowing in the mud.
But a few things have happened that have pulled me out of that gunk and placed me squarely back on solid ground. Continue reading “And Here. We. Go. Again!”
Hello, my lovelies! The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Instead, I have been outrageously busy with life, then I managed to have three days after Thanksgiving wherein nothing was expected of me, so I kind of hid from the world and hung out with my kids.
There has been SO MUCH going on! Work is crazy, life outside of that is NUTS, and I have made drastic changes as to how I log my food.
One thing at a time.
At work, we are preparing for the next semester. Working in a college store at this time of year is quite hectic. Personally, we cleaned the house and prepped for hosting Thanksgiving dinner. It was divine! I made all of this:
Well, I made most of it. From top left to bottom right:
- My seven year old’s FAMOUS Oreo Cookie Fluff
- Canned, jellied, cheaply GLORIOUS cranberry sauce (it’s tradition…I eat it once a year)
- My sister-in-law’s pineapple upside-down cake
- My Jiffy Corn Casserole
- Stove Top cornbread stuffing (another tradition)
- My mashed potatoes made with cream cheese and vegetable stock
- My green bean casserole (my niece lives for this)
- And my turkey. All 18 pounds of it
Most years, I go over the top and come up with all kinds of new recipes tossed in with old favorites, but this year we decided to keep it simple. And yes, while I am a “foodie” and cook all kinds of crazy recipes all the time, there are two things I will never make and never change. We HAVE to have canned, jellied cranberry sauce, and the stuffing HAS to be Stove Top cornbread. Even if I become a millionaire someday, these two things will always be on my Thanksgiving table.
Just before the holiday, I made a huge change in the way I log my food. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got that I was spending $20 per month on my Weight Watchers account, but less than half of the foods I would scan were in their database; and I was spending more and more time putting things in via the calculator. And then they changed things up so that recipes I created on my phone app didn’t show on their website. I was not losing any weight…just gaining and losing the same little bit. I was not happy with how things were going. I also realized that this program really wasn’t teaching me how to eat like a normal person without food issues, which is my ultimate goal. It was teaching me to be dependent on their program.
So, I went in search of something that could be a better fit. I knew that I didn’t want to use MyFitnessPal. I had used it in the past and I cannot explain to you why, per-say, I dislike it, but I do. I spent a bit of time looking around, and I found it. I found the program I am going to be following.
Lose It! is where it’s at, people. I. Love. This. Program.
The website is amazing, the app does everything I want it to, and they have a WordPress blog! Also, you get a full year of premium goodies for just $40. Score!
I was so excited about this find, I Tweeted about it, and I got a few responses:
So then this happened:
Oh, and there’s that. It’s so ORANGE! It makes me deliriously happy every time I open it. I was officially in love, so I bit the bullet:
I really enjoy this program. You can link it to other apps:
(I love that I can link it to my Walgreens account.)
The interface is very user-friendly:
Okay, enough with the gushing. In the first week of using it, I lost two pounds! And I feel this huge stress ball has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel like I am now free to chose healthy options (better than what I ate on that first day) and it breaks down what I’ve eaten and what all was in it. I am learning about food. There are tons of articles that pertain to me. There are charts out the wazoo, and I love that! Also, when I scan something, it has always been in the database. In fact, I am blown away by the extensive database they have!
OH! And when you upgrade to premium, you get to set personal goals beyond how many calories you consume and how much weight you want to lose. I can now use the app to set a goal of how much of my diet I want to consist of carbs and fat, and I can log my water. It’s fantastic!
I promise…this is not a commercial. They aren’t paying me anything to write about it. That would be a horrible misuse of their marketing budget.
So, out with the #weightwatchers and in with the #loseit
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Before I say anything else, I have to let the world know that I am an aunt again! My baby sister (28…such a baby!) gave birth to my gorgeous niece, Lydia Wednesday, whom I refer to as Cheesecake, on Saturday evening. My sister, unfortunately, lives in California, and I live in Iowa. But we were able to Skype last night and I got to hear Lydia cry and she’s just so beautiful! Here’s proof:
Ugh! I cannot get over how utterly gorgeous this baby is! I wish I could hold her. I’m so excited to have her in our lives.
In other news, my eating is slowly getting better. I really don’t realize why I keep having problems. I just need to buckle down. Because of that cute baby up there, I’m going to focus on the positives:
- I went out to a fish place for my father-in-law’s birthday. Everything there is battered and fried. Instead of getting the two-piece carp dinner (pictured here:)
with coleslaw and potato wedges, I got one piece of carp (which turned out to be perfectly cooked…no greasy taste, light breading and ultra-tender fish) and split an order of fries with my two youngest kids. I did eat some coleslaw, but it was in a dinky cup. And I drank water!
- On Sunday, I made crockpot chili. I got the seasoning packets at the store, then added 1 pound of lean ground beef and 1 pound of lean ground turkey, one onion, two cans of diced tomatoes, one can each of light and dark kidney beans and (after this picture was taken) some frozen corn. It turned out to be 5 Weight Watchers points per fairly hefty bowl, and it was DELICIOUS.
Here are things I want to work on this week, because I do best when I write out my goals:
- Drink my water! Seriously, why has this become so hard?
- No fried foods. Zero.
- Log my food points. The weekends somehow make it so easy to just think, “Oh, I know how many points I’ve consumed today…I’m good.” And then you realize after dinner that you ate some pretzels earlier in the day that make it so you’re not actually good.
- Start reading, “How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too” because it’s only been on my Kindle for about a year now.
- Come up with more goals by next Monday.
As everyone following this blog has figured out by now, I have really been struggling for the past month or so. What with illness and anxiety and life in general getting in the way of things, I have noticed that my dedication to losing weight has wavered. I have really been trying so hard to keep holding on. I refused to let go of the lifeline. I was determined not to give up. I knew that if I just held on and did little things in the right direction, I would find that wave again and be able to ride it. I knew it would happen. I kept the faith.
Today, I feel renewed, and I am totally going to run with it. Maybe this is the wave I’ve been waiting for. I am on my surfboard and ready to go!
There is something about autumn that seems to rejuvenate me in ways that other seasons do not. I feel cleansed and happy. I get to wear my scarves again, and my cardigans. I can throw on a jacket and life somehow just feels better.
It also helps that I am madly in love with autumnal vegetables. I have already baked a few acorn squashes and plan to expand on that. I want to experiment with veggies I haven’t yet tried. I want to learn new ways to cook old favorites. And I WILL be making a squash soup in the near future.
If you’re not already following me on Pinterest, now would be the time to start. And if you have a favorite fall recipe, please share! I’ll be doing some cooking in the near future. YAY MOTIVATION!
The last three weeks have been a blur. Life has been beating me down, and I’ve been giving in to it. Today, I was smacked with the realization that I am subconsciously self-sabotaging!
How dare you, self!
Seriously! I have worked so hard to lose the 30-some pounds that I have lost. Why the fuck would I throw that away because life is a struggle?
Did it make me feel good when I over-ate last night? No! I went to bed feeling miserable.
Did I feel some sort of victory when I opened that bag of mixed nuts and ate it without figuring out what a portion size was? No!
Was that little bag of peanut M&M’s worth the questioning looks from co-workers who know I’m on Weight Watchers, but are afraid to call me out on my mistakes? No!
Do you know what is worth it?
- When someone I haven’t seen in a while tells me my pants are way too big on me and I need to think about getting new ones.
- When my fall jacket zips OVER my hips!
- Every single fucking time I zip up my tall boots.
- Not having to douse myself in moisturizer because my skin isn’t parched from dehydration.
- Having little-to-no problems with lactose-based products.
- Not having heartburn daily anymore.
- Putting on my matte red lipstick and getting noticed instead of hiding from the world.
- Knowing that I could eat whatever that person just asked if I wanted, but deciding that it’s just not worth the points it would use up.
- Not having my knee pop out of socket anymore.
- Rethinking my winter wardrobe because all of the shirts are too baggy.
- Craving water instead of soda.
- Searching Pinterest for new, healthy recipes to try.
- Blogging! For fuck’s sake, I just need to keep blogging. I have shit to work through, and holding that inside my head isn’t going to make it go away.
Bedtime is now. Tomorrow is a new day. And I’m ready to tackle it.
I have had one helluva weekend, and I must be truthful and say that food was not my #1 priority. Thankfully, it has become second nature to eat healthy. I don’t think I’ve fallen far from the wagon, and I fully intend to hop right back on.
Saturday, I was heading in to work, driving my father-in-law’s pickup because I thought it would be easier to load with things to haul to the football game I was selling merchandise at for the college store for which I work. About three miles from home, I was going 55 mph down the highway and the left front tire flew off. Yes. The tire. Without thinking, I pulled over to the side of the road somehow while I watched the tire bullet down the opposite side of the road while two cars went by, then it crossed the road and kept going another 1/4 mile before coming to a rest in a cornfield.
No one who lived nearby was home, so I started walking. My mother-in-law picked me up after I had a mile and a half hike down the highway. That’s when it hit me that the truck really should have flipped and I should have been badly hurt.
I got to work 30 minutes late, then worked the windiest football game in history. The tent blew over. The clothes blew off the tables. The sun beat down on us and I wound up with a sunburn in October.
I was really glad to go to bed that night. Still no idea how I made it that far in the day.
Today was my father’s birthday party, and we had a great time. I saw relatives I don’t get to see often enough. I felt pretty.
Here’s my outfit:
When we finally got home, I found a photo from the party on Facebook. I have cropped out the other people.
And then the downward spiral began. I’ve lost 30 pounds. I have worked so hard to lost that weight. No one mentions that they can tell I’ve lost weight, and this picture shows me why. I don’t look like I’ve lost weight.
Yes, I still have 97 pounds to lose. I know that. Realistically, I know that my battle has just begun.
But dammit, I just want to look normal. I want to stop crying every time I see a picture of myself not taken by me.
To try and turn this weekend around, I’m going to list some of the things I’ve done right:
- I went to a pizza party and ate one small slice of cheeseless pizza, as well as a strawberry/chicken/pecan salad that was heavenly.
- I ate ice cream last night from a single-serving container. And it fit into my daily points. It was also heavenly.
- I got in a mile and a half walk!
- I did not buy all of the dark chocolate in the store on Saturday night while grocery shopping.
- I made teriyaki chicken breasts on Saturday night instead of eating the hindquarters the rest of the family ate.
- I dyed my hair tonight. Next to plucking my eyebrows, little else makes me feel better about myself.
Okay. I think that’s good. I’m feeling better.
I think what really upsets me about that Facebook picture is that when I look at it, I see my mother. Nothing on earth terrifies me more than being like her. I want to lose weight so I don’t look like her. I want it so much that it’s almost all-consuming. So when I have worked this hard and have lost weight and still look like her, it’s a crushing blow.
But instead of letting it fester inside my brain, I have written it down so I can let it go and move forward.
Tomorrow is another day. Another day forward, further away from the old me. One day closer to my goal.
I refuse to give up.
Today is the first day in my new blog series that will happen every Tuesday. That’s a good day to do it since it’s called “Two Cents Tuesday”! Oh, I’m so funny, right? Do you have a topic or question you’d like me to research? Want to know what bounces around in my noggin? You can email me at email@example.com and I’d be happy to help!
I decided to do this because I have found that the best way to help myself is to help others. This blog has kept me more motivated than I can tell you in words. But I’ll keep trying to explain it because otherwise, why keep blogging?
Anyway, I work best at helping myself when I’m helping others. I love learning about new things so I can spread the knowledge around. I especially love cooking when I know I’ll be able to share my recipes with other people. One of my friends has recently found herself on a new path in life, and she’s decided she wants to learn to cook a wider variety of foods, so I created a board just for her on my Pinterest page so we can experiment together!
As I was explaining this facet of myself to my absolute best friend in the whole wide world, she came up with the idea for Two Cents Tuesdays. Because she did, she gets to ask the first question:
“I am near-critically dehydrated at all times, and I resist changing that pattern because frankly, I hate peeing. And sweating. And salivating. How can I get the benefits of hydration without the inconvenience?”
First, let’s get this out of the way. I have completed day four of my 30 Day Challenges that can be found at my As Pounds Go Bye Pinterest Board. It’s definitely getting more difficult even though it’s really only increasing by one on each movement each day. My arms, they are a’burnin’. Yay!
Now…on to my Motivation Friday post!
Today, I’m going to talk about a website I found a while ago called ModelMyDiet.com and just revisited it. You put in your stats like height and body shape and bust size, then you put in your current weight and your goal weight, and it will show you what the difference will look like. I took it a step further and put in my start weight, then my current weight and my goal weight. Like so: Continue reading “Motivation Friday and Day Four COMPLETED”
My bestest friend in the whole wide world came to me with an idea for my blog. She suggested that she ask me questions she has for me and my journey – or advice on how I do something – or just something in general that she wants me to research that she thinks it would be interesting to read about. She’s a brilliant woman, so I have no created “Two Cents Tuesdays”. And because I think that the way I help myself in the best way is by helping others, I invite you to send me any questions or research topics you might have for me.
You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to learning new things with you all!